Yesterdays Memories
by imperfectly-perfected
Summary: Damon's memory is gone. How? no-one knows. Why? no-one knows. Who will look after him? Elena, of course. Bonnie searches for a cure while Elena's feelings for Damon keep growing, Damon, who has nothing left to act on accept emotion. 3x21 onwards.
1. Chapter 1

**I've had this in my head for a while now an even though it didn't go as well as I wan't I still think it's decent, before I start regularly updating this story I want to finish my other one that I'm working on, and it will get finished! I just couldn't seem to concentrate on it with this idea going round in my head!**

**summary:**

**A witch somehow causes Damon to lose his memory and all he has left to act on is his emotions that have stayed with him through whatever "curse" was put on him. Elena has to look after him while Bonnie tries to find a way to fix it.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I only own the messed up things I do with these characters, not them or vampire diaries unfortunately :(**

* * *

"He What?" I asked incredulously. I can't even fathom what's happening right now, what Bonnie's telling me.

"No matter how many times I say it, it's not going to make it any less true Elena" Bonnie said, comfortingly putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Well, can you fix it?" I started to begin to feel sick. Just after we figured everything out, Klaus was in a coffin, desiccated so he couldn't cause any trouble, Damon and Stefan were getting along, and there hasn't been a word from Katherine in ages. My biggest issue was my feelings for the two brothers.

I felt my eyes begin to water and Bonnie pulled me into a hug "I know it's hard, but I'll find a way to help him" I wiped a stray tear from my cheek and began to compose myself, pulling away.

"Who else knows?" I whispered, biting on my bottom lip.

"Just you, I found him wondering round in the woods when I was going to the old witch house, I thought he was messing around and accused him of it, he-he wasn't himself, I didn't understand at first. Then he asked who I was" she stopped, shaking her head "I told him to stop being stupid and when he really seemed honest I said I better bring him to you, and he- he didn't know who you were Elena" she whispered.

I found the power in me to nod, Damon, the one who had always been there for me had somehow lost his memory and no matter how much I want it not to be true I have to accept it. "Do you know how it might have happened?" I asked.

"Well, all I know is that it has to have been a witch that did this to him, no human could do that to a 150 year vampire" she offered.

"Who would want to do this to him?" I asked, more to myself than Bonnie.

"Even if you think he's changed, he must have made lots of enemies over the years" Bonnie said, firmly, of course she didn't like Damon, I knew that though.

"Can you help him?" I asked softly.

"Whatever can be done, can be undone Elena" Bonnie confirmed, nodding.

"I hope so." I said.

"So what are you going to do, I mean, I don't know if he realises he's a vampire, actually I have no idea what he knows." Bonnie stated.

"Me? You aren't helping?" I accused.

"Elena, I'll be too busy with the spell, and now all his emotions are heightened do you really think it's best for him to be with Stefan?" she asked with a raised eyebrow "the two of them even have a working dynamic now!" she said with a shake of her head as if saying no way.

"I don't know how to look after a vampire Bonnie" I reasoned.

"You keep him under control better than anyone Elena, and you know it. I can get Caroline to help with the whole vampire thing, but with Alaric on the lose right now I think we should keep him on blood bags instead of animals, he has to keep his strength up if he's going to be any use to anyone" Bonnie planned out.

"Okay….I'll do it" I agreed, seeing no other option.

"I'll tell Stefan and get Caroline as _soon_ as I can Elena!" She rushed out.

I nodded "Ok Bonnie….so...where is he?"

"He's just in the car" she gestured outside. "I'll go get him." She rushed outside and I took a seat on the sofa, trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen.

A few seconds later a hesitant looking Damon gingerly walked into my living room, looking unsure of…well…everything really. "I'll just…well" Bonnie said awkwardly, before leaving.

I stood up as Damon clearly swallowed. "You…err…must be Elena" I nodded. This was it, I have to be here for him, and I won't leave him.

"I can't imagine how you must feel…..I'll be here for you Damon; you don't have to worry about that." I smiled, reassuringly. "I just have to make sure you know a few things first" I spoke hesitantly. "What's the last thing you remember?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Nothing, I don't remember anything." He confirmed my suspicions, but looked like he was holding back on something.

"Tell me Damon." I encouraged.

For a moment he looked taken aback, probably because I knew him so well. "I know…this will sound strange. I feel…I mean, I don't remember you but….I trust you" He said, frowning. "And…I know I don't really like Bonnie."

I smiled, now that reminded me of the old Damon. "Well the two of you don't really get along" I said with a shrug. Just out of curiosity I asked "and what else do you feel? About Bonnie or me, it might help you remember" I added quickly.

"With Bonnie there's guilt" I was taken aback by him admitting this, of course, _this_ Damon doesn't really realise what he's talking about. Literally. "And with you…." He started hesitantly "well, a mixture of lots of things really" he finished; as if there was more he wanted to say.

I nodded and sat down knowing I had to tell him what he was, I gestured to the seat next to me and he took it. "Damon…there are things you don't know…and I understand that…they're going to be hard to believe."

"I'll believe you Elena" Damon said sincerely.

"There are things in this world that you don't know about…things I wish I didn't have to tell you, but I do." I tried to explain.

"OK" he pushed.

"Bonnie, she's a witch" I watched as his eyes went wide before going back to normal.

This is it Elena, now or nether "there's more….there are also werewolf's and….vampires. _You _are a vampire Damon." I said looking down. After about ten seconds of silence I had to look up, Damon's face was showing no emotion as he starred right in front of him.

"Damon" I prodded, afraid he was going to snap.

"Have I hurt people" I barely heard. This was Damon, the human side that no-one gets to see, and he's afraid, I realised. And it shook me.

"Damon…" I whispered.

"Tell me!" he yelled, turning to look at me.

I felt my eyes start to water, Damon noticed and his softened. I bit down on my lip to try and stop myself from crying and soon I felt Damon's strong, welcoming and secure arms around me, I wrapped mine around his neck, this is all to much. I was already struggling with my feelings for the two brothers on it's own, now one of them has lost their memories and is showing their human side making an already dreadfully hard choice impossible.

"I'm sorry" He murmured into my hair, rubbing my back with one hand and stroking my hair with the other till I relaxed in his arms "It's not your fault, I didn't mean it. I just- it's a lot to take in, but I trust you, I believe you Elena."

I swallowed and pulled back, "no" I shook my head "I shouldn't of reacted like that, I don't want to make this harder for you."

"You are definitely not making this harder for me Elena" he said with a small laugh, shaking his head "when I was with Bonnie, I felt dreadful, I felt...alone, I guess" He admitted shyly.

I placed my hand on his cheek waiting for him to continue.

"I feel right here, with you though...like I belong somewhere" he whispered.

I gasped, shocked by his confession "I know, that sounded stupid and we only just, well..." he trailed off.

"It's not stupid" I shook my head. We gazed into each others eyes for a few moments but the trance was broken by a knock at the door, that made us both jump back a little.

"I'll get it" I said in a rushed tone. I practically sprinted to the door, the whole time beating myself up over what _almost _just happened, not only with Damon, but Damon that had no memories what so ever, who was acting on pure emotion.

I pulled open the door and saw it was Caroline "Thank God" I groaned, pulling her inside. "That bad?" she asked. "you have no idea".

She smiled handing me a black bag "there's his food, bonnie updated me the blood bag only diet." she said, trying to lighten the mood. "I know you Elena, you'll be fine." she reassured me.

"Thanks care" I sighed, pulling her into a hug. "I better go...call me if you need _ anything_" she stressed.

"I will, thank you" I said letting her leave.

I walked into the kitchen and took out a blood bag, before putting it in the microwave. A couple of minutes later I heard the ding and pulled it out.

I took a deep breath before walking into the living room and sitting down next to Damon, handing him the blood. "98.6, your favourite." I said, trying to make the mood a little lighter.

Damon just nodded "Are you comfortable with this?" He asked. nodding I said, "I've been around vampires a long time now Damon."

In less than a minute he'd finished and I took the empty bag back into the kitchen. After throwing it in the bin I turned round and jumped, finding Damon just across the room from me, starring at his reflection in the glass doors. I walked up behind him and placed my hand on his arm, while looking at are reflection. It was so weird that Damon was looking at himself without making a cocky remark.

I looked up at him the same time he looked down at me, smiling I asked "tired?" he nodded. "You can come in with me if you promise to stay on top of the covers, I'd feel bad making you sleep on the sofa."

He looked happy for a moment before frowning "won't your parents mind?"

I looked down, I knew avoiding this subject was out of the question "they died in a car crash a year ago, I would let you sleep in their room but me and my brother Jeremy are painting it right now" I smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry" he said frowning.

I shook my head "It's in the past, now come on."

As we were walking up stairs he asked "about my question earlier-"

"don't" I cut him off "let's sleep now. I'll tell you whatever you want to know tomorrow"

"deal" he nodded. That is going to make for an awkward afternoon, I thought, wondering how I could even answer some of his questions myself.

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**What do you think? keep or ditch? please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know, I know, the wait for this update has been a long, _long_ one but I hope you can forgive me since their has been a family death. I was and still am extremely upset so please forgive me. Enjoy the update and please review. sorry to keep this short, see you at the end of the chapter!x**

**Just as an extra, he's a song that helps me find inspiration, not just for this chapter, but for my other stories too. The After-Ocean Wide**

_Look outside_  
_It's already light and the stars ran away with the night_  
_Things we're said, words that we'll try to forget,_  
_it's so hard to admit_

_I know we've made mistakes_  
_I see through all the tears_  
_and that's what got us here_

_If love is an ocean wide_  
_We'll swim in the tears we cry_  
_They'll see us through to the other side_  
_We're gonna make it_  
_When love is a raging sea_  
_You can hold on to me_  
_We'll find a way tonight_  
_Love is an ocean wide_

_I'll stay right here_  
_It's where I'll always belong_  
_Tied with your arms_  
_Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set_  
_I don't want to forget_

_What made us feel this way_  
_You see through all my fears_  
_And that's what got us here_

_If love is an ocean wide_  
_We'll swim in the tears we cry_  
_They'll see us through to the other side_  
_We're gonna make it_  
_When love is a raging sea_  
_You can hold on to me_  
_We'll find a way tonight_  
_Love is an ocean wide_  
_enough to forget_  
_Even when we think we can't think we can't_

_If love is an ocean wide_  
_We'll swim in the tears we cry_  
_They'll see us through to the other side_  
_We're gonna make it_  
_When love is a raging sea_  
_You can hold on to me_  
_We'll find a way tonight_  
_We'll find a way tonight_  
_Love is an ocean wide_  
_Love is an ocean wide_

* * *

I sighed as I put my hand in the burning hot water, looking back into my bedroom. Damon had insisted on sleeping in the chair last night, I tried to get him to at least sleep in some bed in the house, or even on the sofa, but he said he felt more comfortable knowing I was safe. I smiled, shaking my head, even with no memory still wanted to protect me. It felt weird though, old Damon would have jumped at the chance of me asking him to sleep in bed with me, at least I think so, but I don't really know where any of are feelings are at the moment….and of course this was just making my choice more complicated… .

My thoughts were cut off by the sound of some one clearing their throat near the door, I spun round and smiled at the man standing in the doorway hesitantly.

"Good morning" I said, trying to be casual "I just finished my shower so I run you a bath."

He smiled back "thank you" he said, taking a step forward. My phone went off in my pocket and Damon jumped back a little and I giggled at his reaction, he frowned at me as I pulled out my phone. I smiled, shaking my head and answered the call "hey Elena, Caroline told me about Damon" I heard Stefan's concerned voice come through the speaker. "Yeah Stefan, I've got this, don't worry" I reassured him, glad he was showing his humanity through his concern for his brother, yet trying not to give to much away to Damon the was standing less than three meters away from me.

I motioned to Damon to say I was going downstairs, he nodded and sat down at the end of the bath tub. when I reached the bottom of the stairs Stefan started talking again "Are you sure you're going to be all right with this, I mean it's like you have to take care of a baby" Stefan joked, but it just pissed me off that he could speak about his brother like that in the state he was in now.

"Stefan, Damon will be just _fine_ with me but thanks for the warning, and as for me being all right with this I've gone through a lot worse and you know it" I instantly defended Damon and myself, a little shocked at how my tone came out harsher than was meant. there was silence on the line for exactly six seconds in which I guessed Stefan was deciding on how to handle the situation.

"I'll drop off some more blood and a few changes of clothes for Damon" Stefan's toned came out clipped, I guessed he was pissed off.

"Thank you Stefan" I said softly, not just for the clothes but for understanding. When I didn't hear anything in return I went to hang up before Stefan's quite tone stopped me "just be careful" I barely heard, before hanging up, because I didn't have to ask what he meant. _Damon._ I sighed, before shaking my head and pushing the thoughts of this demented love triangle out my head, just to go upstairs and face a third of it.

When I saw Damon he had moved from his position on the bath tub and was now scanning my mirror, looking at the photo's I had placed in their, I watched silently from behind him, observing as he brushed his thumb against a photo, I carefully looked closer, without getting in caught in the mirror and saw he was looking at a photo of us over the summer, we had been so much closer then, even on out quest for Stefan things had been way less complicated than they were now.

We were on my bed, Damon was sitting up against the head board with his hand running through my hair, and I was practically sitting on his lap, but we were laughing to much to notice. I smiled back at the memory, we had been like best friends, like we'd known each other are whole lives, the moment started off as me being upset over Stefan, I was crying and Damon came and as always made me laugh like their were no problems whatsoever.

I snapped back out of the memory and noticed Damon had seen me and was now standing awkwardly looking ashamed that he was caught. "I-erm" Damon stuttered. _Stuttered_. I inwardly shook my head at the craziness of it. "I was just sitting there and it caught my eye...I wasn't thinking I shouldn't have been so rude" Damon formed the words politely.

"Don't worry about it" I dismissed, with a shake of my head. I really felt for Damon, I couldn't imagine what it must be like to have every moment that makes you who you are just ripped away from you, and on top of that being a vampire too. Out of no where words started coming from my mouth "I was really upset that day..." I hesitated, before continuing "you came and cheered me up, you always manage to do that" I said smiling.

"I'm glad" He replied, smiling back. We just looked at each other for a few seconds, not uncomfortable at all, then I remembered the bath "your bath must be about the right temperature now, it may be a bit hot though."

"That's fine, I like it...hot" Damon said, his voice like velvet and his usual smirk back in place on his face like it had never left. I rolled my eyes, despite the blush on my face.

"beautiful" I thought I heard him murmur from across the room, but not sure if I imagined it, I brushed it off.

"Go and get in the bath, your clothes should be here soon"

"Of course. But who's dropping off my clothes?" he asked frowning curiously.

It couldn't do any harm to tell him he had a brother could it? I don't really have to tell him everything, this can't do any harm. "your brother" I said.

A smile lit up his whole face, and his eyes, it made him look so beautiful. It was breathtaking. I just had to carry on, to hold that smile on his face. "His names Stefan."

"Stefan" he said as if he were testing the waters "yeah" he said quietly "that's sounds familiar."

"That's great!" I exclaimed, my smile now matching his. I saw him trying to hide a blush! I didn't know vampires could blush! He looks so damn adorable when he's embarrassed, I'll have to embarrass him more often, I mentally noted. Though I didn't know what he was blushing at...

Pretending I didn't see I went over to get my brother's shampoo, it wouldn't be the same but at least he wouldn't smell like a girl. I laughed with that mental image in my head before instruction him to get in the bath and handing the shampoo. Just as the bathroom door closed the doorbell rang, after making sure Damon wasn't coming out to follow me I went down stairs to meet Stefan.

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**I hope you enjoyed the chapter! please cheer me up and review, it makes my day!xxx**

**BTW if your wondering about my other stories the updates _will_ come, I haven't given up on them, I just have a lot going on so they're going to be slower than usual, I hope you understand : ) xxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wooooo! Slow down a second! An update? From me? I know, I know, search party and all that. Well there's no need because here I am with a chapter! And I have an excuse...are you ready? well, yes, obviously you are, if not, please take a moment. I'm writing a book! As in, not a fanfiction! AN ACTUAL BOOK! Not that it will get published, but I like the thought of knowing I am writing a book and when I'm finished I would would have written a book (No shit Sherlock, right?). It was just meant to be a pastime, like this, but I got addicted. Sorry...(guilty face). Also does anyone like Rush? the band? Because I am seeing them live next year for my birthday!ahhhhhhh.**

**Here's a song that I was listening to, not while I was writing, but it got me in the mood for it. Don't ask me why, it honestly has nothing to do with the chapter:And we were trying different things  
We were smoking funny things  
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song  
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow  
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long  
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long**

**Catching Walleye from the dock**  
**Watching the waves roll off the rocks**  
**She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul**  
**We'd blister in the sun**  
**We couldn't wait for night to come**  
**To hit that sand and play some rock and roll**

**Kid Rock-All Summer Long**

**Ok, that's all. So please, enjoy the chapter!xxx**

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I ran down the stairs and lifted my hand to open the door. I froze. All my fear that I'd been holding back came rushing to the surface and my hands started to shake, I bit my lip and gingerly placed my hand to the door knob. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, I thought of what Damon would be saying to me down `don't think about it, just do it. I know you can my worrier princess.` I remembered the moment well, he had been training me, and all the way through I was still worried about fighting back, whether I would be strong enough, brave enough…. . I never even mentioned it to him but he knew exactly what I was thinking without me having to voice it.

I knew he didn't just mean with fighting, he meant with everything, even though a lot of the time I wonder why he puts so much faith in me. I shook the fear out of my head and pulled open the door, with a smile on my face.

Stefan stood leaning against the door frame swinging a carrier bag in his hand, before tossing it in my direction, I was shocked but recovered in just enough time to catch it. "Erm...thanks" I spoke, looking back up in his direction. "Don't mention it." He replied, with a smile, his previous anger seemed to be forgotten. "I would invite you in but,,,," I trailed off."

He looked disappointed for a moment, before composing himself and putting on an obvious fake smile that didn't reach his eyes. I felt a twinge of guilt in my stomach, but what could I do? There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds before he spoke "I should go." and before I even had I chance to speak he had shut the door and left.

I didn't know how to react, but I couldn't deal with any more drama right now, so I stored the moment in the back of my mind on top of the building up pile, and carried on. I took the bag to the kitchen and got the 10 blood bags out, putting them in the fridge, away from the other food. I could already picture Damon teasing me for that, then I remembered he probably wouldn't be doing anything like that for a long time.

I walked back up the stairs and jumped on to my bed, lying down and closing my eyes for a second. I knew I wouldn't be able to get a nap, so reluctantly, I hopped back off the bed and got a change of clothes out the bag for Damon. Stefan had brought Damon's signature leather jacket, three black shirts, two pairs of black jeans and three pairs of black…..silk boxers? I shook my head with a laugh. Of course.

I grabbed him his change of clothes and then realised he'd have to come out or I'd have to go in, I hesitated outside the bathroom door and heard water splash from inside, must be him getting out, I realised.

"Elena?" I heard him ask, sounding unsure. I cursed myself, he had probably heard me outside the door this whole time, he probably thought I was crazy. Wait! This is _Damon_, why am I acting like this?

"It got your clothes" I called back, pleased with how even my voice sounded, as I pictured the thought of Damon...naked...just through that piece of wood, soaking wet... . I jumped back when that door was pulled open and the exact image I had in my head was standing less than five inches away from me, the only difference being he was wearing a towel, _extremely_ low on his hips. We were both silent, the tension so thick neither of us dare to break it. Then he swallowed, hard, and I shook myself out of it. Wordlessly I handed him his clothes "Thank you" , his voice came out un-even, but at least he could speak. I forced my self to take a step back, before smiling and closing the door for him to get changed.

After that I could think clearly. What the hell was that Elena? Why did you not speak? What is you problem? These questions keep replaying themselves in my head, and I knew the answer to all of them, put there was no way _that_ was true. it's just lust. _Just lust_. It happens, there's no way it could be anything else, because that would be out of the question crazy...or would it? I didn't even know any more, and yet deep down I knew exactly.

* * *

What the hell was that Damon? She thinks you're stupid! No wonder she didn''t speak! nice one...smooth. All these feelings are to much...what do they even mean? does she know how I feel...? I leant back against the door and put my head in my hands, closing my eyes, I tried to remove my hands, but I couldn't, all I could see was the dark, and suddenly there was no ground beneath my feet. When I could see I was no longer in the bathroom, but under Elena...Elena...in a corset? I looked up at her face, my hand was running through her curls, but I had no control over it. Her expression was different from anything I've ever seen on her, her eyes wear cold and vacant, her lips were twisted into a cruel smirk and thinking about it, Everything I've seen Elene her hair is always straight. I didn't know who this woman was. but I was sure she wasn't my Elena, my feelings towards this woman were regret, anger, and sadness, yet I couldn't help the smile that was plastered on my face, Whatever this was, I couldn't control it. The woman's face transformed and veins appeared underneath her eyes, she open her mouth and I saw a flash of fangs before they were wedged into the flesh of my neck. I felt the feeling of being transformed again and suddenly I was back in the bathroom.

I got dressed with thoughts of the demon woman in my head, when I was finished I looked in the mirror. I ran my hands over my face sighing, I was starting to get hungry and the last thing I wan't to do was to make her my hands fell to my sides the image in the mirror had transformed, making me jump back, knocking over everything on the counter on my way.

* * *

My head snapped up, I had heard a banging noise from the bathroom. I quickly run in there and jumped back, shocked at the sight before me. The veins under Damon's eyes were out are his fangs were on full view. "Sorry! I'm sorry" he rushed out, with his hands in front of him, walking back from me. He looked terrified at his own appearance, but even more at what I might think. "Damon, calm down" I said soothingly, gingerly walking forward, he swallowed, not meeting my eyes. I grabbed his hands in my own, which seemed to have soothed him, though his hands were still shaking in mine. I didn't know how to deal with this. "Elena..." he murmured, his vampire face still in full effect. "It's okay" I whispered, not wanted to alarm him "this is perfectly normal." I ran my thumbs around his clenched fists, slowly his hands unclenched and are palms met, I slid my fingers through his and gave his hand a squeeze. "How do I make it stop?" he whispered desperately. "Just close your eyes and breath" I instructed. He did as I said and soon enough his face had returned to normal, but his eyes were still closed. I was really worried, the last thing I needed was for him to be upset over this.

I stepped forward so are bodies were touching and realised one of his hands, placing it extremely lightly on his face. I swallowed and run my thumb over his cheek "open you're eyes" I spoke softly. He did as I said, but quickly looked down "Damon", I pushed, still he wouldn't face me. Inwardly I took a deep breath, I leant forward, and placed something that couldn't even be called a kiss, but a brush of the lips under each of his eyes. I heard his breath hitch in his throat and felt his hand squeeze tightly around mine. When I brought myself back to look at him his eyes were bearing into mind.

With the hand that was still entwined with his I pulled him out the bathroom and down the stairs, into the kitchen and handed him a blood bag. He finished it in a matter of seconds. No words were said, but none needed to be, everything we both needed to hear was in each other's eyes.

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**READ THIS PLEASE?**** So the chapters over, and this is the bit you'd usually skip, if you don't want to hear the thank you's, skip to the next part, otherwise- thanks so much for everyone who added this to favourites, followed and reviewed, you are amazing! I would try to describe how great it is when someone reviews but I'm sure if you write you know.**

**HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART! for the next 10 people that review this I'm going to check out all your accounts, pick my favourite one-shot and post the titles on my next chapter. If you don't have any one-shot's I'll choose some story you've done...and if you haven't done any stories, I guess I could take a story suggestion and I'll write you something (will be posted on my account). But if you'd prefer me writing you something instead of a shout-out just message me or leave it at the bottom of your comment if that's easier!**

**Ok, all is said! Don't forget to review xxxxxxxxx thanks**


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are amazing, which is why I'm trying quick to update! I know I've made some silly typo's but I'm working on getting a beta, if you have any suggestion's, or if you beta, just PM me! so, I checked the reviews and I've spoke to all of you, some of you haven't written stories and haven't contacted me about what you want you one-shots to be about, which is cool, but PM me as soon as you can. There are 3 more spaces left, so remember to review. I'll post the stories when the spaces have been filled x**

**Here's my song insperation: Oasis-Let there be love**

**Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?  
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?  
Let there be love - Let there be love  
I hope the weather is calm as you sail up your heavenly stream  
Suspended clear in the sky are the words that we sing in our dreams  
Let there be love - Let there be love - Let there be love - Let there be love**

**Come on baby blue**  
**Shake up your tired eyes**  
**The world is waiting for you**  
**May all your dreaming fill the empty sky**

**But if it makes you happy**  
**Keep on clapping**  
**Just remember I'll be by your side**  
**And if you don't let go, it's gonna pass you by**

**You could play this while reading the chapter if you want, but turn it off when the doorbell rings, or the chapter won't make sense!ok, talk to you later~Georgiexx**

* * *

The sky's pitch black, we're now sitting on my bed, my back leaning against the headboard and Damon opposite me, absentmindedly rubbing my feet which were next to him. I wondered how he was so good at massage, I mean, you have to take courses to be this good really, and I definitely couldn't imagine Damon taking massage courses. My eyes were closed as I listened to his soft breathing, we had been in this comfortable silence for ten minutes and it's great, I felt slightly guilty when the thought that I never been this comfortable with Stefan seeped into my mind.

"Elena", I heard a sing song voice speak, I opened my eyes with a sigh.

"sorry", I apologized.

"what's wrong?" Damon asked, worry lacing his voice.

"I guess I'm just tiered" I lied.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Elena?" He teased. Of course, he could loose all his memories but he could still tell when I was lying.

"I'm just worried about you" I spoke softly, now this definitely wasn't a lie, even it wasn't what I was thinking about at that moment.

I felt the bed shift and the hold on my feet being realised, then Damon was kneeling on the bed beside me, looking me right in the eye. "Don't be" he said firmly. "I know…this must be weird, I'm guessing we must have been pretty close…..I mean…because you're being so good to me" I smiled softly, and he returned it, then continued "so for me just to have my memory gone…" he trailed off, looking down.

"yeah" I spoke quietly, afraid to ruin the moment.

"I" he took a breath and then looked back up to me, his eyes burning right into mine "I'm fine, because I have you looking after me….I don't know what I did to deserve someone as amazing as you to be here for me, and I don't know what we are or if I've told you this before…but I'm so grateful to have you-as cheesy as it sounds" he tried to ease the conversation, but I could hardly notice, all I could do was stare into his eyes, as he showed more humanity than I'd ever seen, the vulnerability in his eyes making my heart ache, as I realised- this is Damon without his past disappointment, mistakes and hurt holding him back, he was showing everything to me, without even realising it. How could things ever go back to normal now, knowing if I was with him he would always be like this, because we wouldn't have to worry, wouldn't have to be disappointed and wouldn't have to hurt as long as we had each other.

He looked away, seeming uncomfortable "sorry" he shock his head, chuckling silently. He was misinterpreting my silence, _no, no, no!_ I thought.

"The last thing I wanted to do was-", he started, but I jumped up and knelled next to him, placing my finger on his lips. He stopped talking immediately, looking down at my finger, before looking back up at me.

I smiled at him, all my emotions evident in that smile and in my eyes "I'm grateful to have a friend like you too...Damon" I whispered, lowering my hand slowly, he caught in in his own, his smile matching mine, we both looked down at are fingers which were threading in and out of each other's and laughed. he looked back up at me, brushing a strand of hair from out my face, sending a tingling down my spine, "you are so beautiful Elena, I must have told you that at least, right?"

"You may have mentioned it once or twice" I giggled and blushed.

"_ Especially _when you blush" Damon teased, with a smirk.

"Haven't changed that much have you?" I threw back.

He rolled his eyes and leant back against my headboard, lying his legs out in front of him and pulling me down onto his chest with him. I let out a content sigh, placing my hand on his chest, my head on his shoulder and his, are legs tangled and his arm round my waist, playing with the ends of my hair as I traced patterns on his chest.

"Let's just stay like this" Damon whispered in my ear.

I laughed softly and kissed his shoulder, wishing I could do more, but knowing I couldn't, at least till he gets his memory back.

"Elena?" Damon whispered.

"Yeah?" I whispered back

"can you tell me the answer to my question now?"

I hestitated for a moment, trying to think, "We are...just this...we're us. I guess there isn't really a name for our relashionship..." I struggled to explain it. Because now I know exacly who I want to be with, but I can't exactly say anything till he gets his memory back and I definately don't want to upset him. "you're one of the most important people in my life...you're always here for me-even when I definately don't deseve it, when I'm upset you're always there for me. You'd never let anyone hurt me" I spoke with a laugh, not looking up,afraid of how he might be reacting.

"Elena" The vevet voice spoke, sending a tingling down my spine. My hand stopped its movments on his chest, and Damon's hand came up from my hair onto my neck, turning my head to look up at him. The depths of his ocean blue eyes shining with innocence and joy, without even realising we were both moving closer to each other-then the doorbell went.

Damon let out a noise that was basically a growl, looking at my bedroom door. I laughed and pushed him down onto the bed, jumped of myself. "can a man never have his peace", he spoke, adding an melodramtic sigh on at the end.

"I'm going to check who's at the door, and you can stay here" I said, faking seriousness, then left the room with a smile on my face.

I pulled the front door open, reveling a very angry looking Jeremy. "Hey...what's up?", I asked, stepping aside, for him to walk in. "Stefan told me about Damon, then roced me to sleep at the broading house because he was going on about Damon being a danger?" He exclaimed."What is this all about Elena?" Jeremy questioned, glaring at me.

"What?Damon would never be a danger to us!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, why would Stefan say something like that?

"But why's Damon staying here Elena?"He asked.

I shook my head "He-" I started, but I was cut off by Damon walking down the stairs and coming to stand next to me, ever so slightly in front of me. "Elena, is everything alright?", he asked making it sound more like a threat than a question, looking at my brother the whole time.

"What's going on, Damon?" Jeremy asked, completely un-aware of the situation.

Damon looked like he was trying to come up with something, so I decided this was the time to fill everyone in. "Damon" I said, putting my hand on his arm in a comforting gesture, "this is my brother, Jeremy"

"Jer" I said, dropping my hand from Damon's arm and immediatley missing the muscel and warmth, "Damon had lost his memory...he can't remember anything" I re-prased, as if it would make it eaier to understand.

Jeremy starred at me in shock, then Damon looked back at me and spoke "yeah...about that."

* * *

**AHHH cliffhanger! and no, Damon hasn't gotten his memory back, buuuttttttttt, he did have that memory about Kat, so you, remember to review! 3 SPACES LEFT POEOPLE! Please forgive me for the mistakes of spelling and the typo's**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guys. Don't kill me. I know how long it's been! I had absolutely no inspiration for this and anything I posted would have been complete crap. I really am very sorry, but I'm not a machine okay? These things happen. I had nothing good to write and I knew if I posted anything I had actually done so far for this you would all be very disappointed with it. Fortunately my inspiration did come, unfortunately, it was an hour ago and it's now midnight, I have school in the morning and I'm falling asleep as I type. So please review? And try not to be to pissed at me? :), I'll be in my bomb shelter.**

* * *

I frown, Damon remembered? No, he would have said something.

"Damon?" I ask, unsure of where he was going with it, Jeremy's expression of full on confusion matches mine.

He turns round, his back to Jeremy as if he were forgotten, "I had a memory, at least, I think it was a memory...no, it must have been a memory, it was so vivid," Damon announces.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I question, feeling a little hurt that he would keep something like that from me.

"I was going to tell you but I didn't really want to ruin, the, uh, _moment._" Damon spoke, sounding unsure. I mentally face palm, just perfect, I never going to hear the end of this from Jeremy. I look over at him, his face shows pure disbelieve and his eyebrows look like their about to sky rocket into his hairline.

I cough, purposely cutting off whatever my brother was about to say, "yeah, well, you can tell us now."

"I think you would most likely prefer it if we were in private when I told you Elena", Damon cautions. What on Earth was this memory about?!

"Okay, Jeremy, don't you have homework." I hint.

Jeremy obviously understood, but pretended to be oblivious to what I would talk about "Homework? It's Saturday 'Lena" he jokes.

Damon turned around, "listen to your sister, go to your room", he says in a warning tone.

"I've heard that one before", Jeremy grumbles as he walked past, rolling his eyes.

Seeing Damon was looking at me curiously "what did Jeremy mean?", I just shake my head. We definitely did not need to get into that subject today.

"So..." I pretend to ponder, grabbing a apple from the fridge and silently offering Damon one. He shook his head then slid into one of the seats at the counter. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to spill.

"Well, it was you and me - expect it wasn't." Damon tries to explain, looking anywhere but me. Finally deciding the pattern on the counter top was highly interesting as he starred at it, also persistently drumming his fingers against the cold surface.

"Damon." I raise my eyebrow, tilting my head to capture his gaze.

"hmp?" his head snapped up, his fingers still going at their incisive tapping. I rest my hand on top of his and it seems so natural. He looks down at my hand and realises what he was doing, blushing a little. _That's twice!_

"What do you mean 'it was you and me expect it wasn't?'"

"Well, the woman. She was on, er, top of me, but she was wearing different clothes...like, from another time different. Her face was like mine. A vampire."

"Katherine" I sigh, obviously.

"Who?" Damon asks.

"That's a long, very complicated story. One that we should leave for another day."

"But she looked just like you Elena, even before I realised what she was I knew it wasn't you." Damon frowns, "are you twins?"

"No, we're not twins" I laugh.

"Well that's a shame, could've got kinky right?" Damon teases playfully.

"Sure, real kinky Damon." I roll my eyes, then remember something, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." he says easily.

I smile at his response, "How did you know it wasn't me before Katherine changed?" I jump right in, no point avoiding it.

He seems taken aback by my question, "well, like I said, even though I remember nothing the feeling are still there. What I feel for you and what I feel for...Katherine, couldn't be more different."

I smile, "I'll take that as a compliment then. She's a bitch."

Damon laughs along with me until something distracts him "What is it?" I ask, panicking.

"Oh, nothing. Just...why was I in bed with her Elena? The way I feel about her... it doesn't make sense."

"That was a very long time ago. As you can probably tell by what she was wearing. Actually, 1864. Between then and now...that's a long time for things to change, feelings to change. Back them you loved her." I sigh, "She was toying with you. You realise that now."

"Katherine was the one that turned me I assume?"

"Yes", well this had completely ruined the mood. "How 'bout we go sit on the couch and you can ask me whatever you want?"

"As long as it's not another long, complicated story?" Damon sighs dramatically, sliding off the stool and making his way to the couch along with me.

"Exactly."

* * *

One Hour Later

"Green or Blue?"

"Turquoise," I smile.

"Damn 'Lena, aren't you a smart cookie?" Damon teases.

I roll my eyes, "we've been at this for an hour Damon." I flop back on to the couch.

"Well what else would you like to do?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

I make a fake gagging noise, tossing a pillow at him which he ducks and avoids. "I don't know...would you like to watch a movie? You technically have never seen one yet."

"It's weird, I know what everything is, a toaster, dvd player...but I can't remember ever using any of them, yet I know how." Damon sighs, leaning back into the couch with his eyes closed.

I smile sadly, feeling bad. I wish there was a way we could get his memories back! I still haven't heard anything from Bonnie. "Come'er" Damon mumbles, wrapping his arm around my waist,I give in, resting my head on his chest and melting into his embrace. I open my eyes, starting to feel guilty, I need to spend time with Stefan, my head tells me. It's not fair on him that I've hardly given him a shot.

"Relax 'Lena" Damon whispers softly into my ear.

"You always know when something's bothering me." I relax back into Damon's embrace, tracing blind patterns on his lower stomach.

After a couple of minutes I notice he's tensed and look up to see him biting his bottom lip harshly. "Damon?" I whisper.

"As amazing as that feels I think you should stop." Damon's usually smooth voice gone as he rests his hand on top of my now still one.

I smile realising what he means, "Who would have know the great Damon Salvatore was so sensitive."

"Elena... you remember what I said earlier? How I _can't remember_ anything ever..._happening_" he shifts awkwardly.

It takes a moment before realisation dawns upon me, "You can't remember anyone ever touching you, can you Damon?" I smirk with this new found information.

His eyes open, seeing my smirk, "I may not _remember_ Elena but I _know_ how to make a woman scream, I know just what to do and when to do it," he speaks, his eyes boring into mine.

I gulp nervously, my previous confidence disappearing. It's then I notice just how close we've become. Simultaneously we look down at each other's lips, then back into each others eyes. Then we're kissing and it's everything Damon is, all consuming, passionate and Dangerous. I moan as he lightly pushes me down onto the couch, never once breaking the kiss, and slides on top of me.

I wrap my legs around his waist as our kisses grow desperate, I tear away, gasping for breath. Damon busies himself by placing kisses down my neck, to my chest. I grab onto his cheeks and bring his lips up to meet mine again. His hands run down my body, one of them resting on my thigh as the other caresses the bare skin of my stomach wear my top has ridden up.

I hear a loud, angry knock at the door and jump in surprise making my legs around Damon tighten, pulling him closer to me. He groans in pleasure from my movements, his head dropping onto my shoulder. "_Please_. Don't. Answer. It." Damon whispers into my shoulder.

I almost go along with what Damon says as he starts to press tempting kisses to my shoulder, moving up to meet my mouth. That's until I see that furious face standing behind the living room window. Stefan.

* * *

**Cliffhanger! I'm actually feeling bad now. Reviews will make updates faster! Remember it is actually all any of us get out of writing on this site? I really don't want to be one of those people that beg for reviews. Sorry again! Hopefully the next update will be faster, but that all depends on you, hint, hint.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A shorter wait than last time. I don't really have much to say except I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

I jump up at record speed, running to the door. _No, no, no!_ _How could I let this happened?_ Taking a deep breath, I open the door, just for Stefan to storm right past me, his eyes, burning with rage, never leaving Damon.

"Stefan stop! Please I can explain!" I yelled as he grabbed Damon by the collar of his shirt.

"Stefan." Damon murmured, his eyes wide as he realised this was his brother.

"I thought we agreed no influencing her choice Damon!" Stefan spat, swinging his right fist to meet Damon face. I clenched me eyes shut and waited to hear the crunching noise that never came. Opening my eyes I saw Damon with his hand closed around Stefan's fist, inches from his face.

"What are you talking about?" Damon frowned, letting his hand drop.

"Of course, she hasn't told you has she." Stefan started laughing. Damon and I starred at him, pretty sure he had lost it.

"Stefan..." Damon spoke.

"You think your the only one with feelings for Elena, you think now you can become some happy couple? Well your wrong, we both love her, the only difference is she only loves one of us back. Me, she's only ever loved _me_." Stefan spoke harshly, but Damon wasn't paying any attention to him. His eyes never left mine.

"Is that true Elena?" he whispered brokenly.

"Damon you don't understand!" I plead. _How can this be happening?!_

Stefan seemed to come to some realisation of what he'd done at that point, because he slowly stepped out of his brothers way, who was walking towards me._  
_

"Katherine played me? What about you Elena? Everything you said to me upstairs, you were lying weren't you?" Damon demanded.

"No, no please hear me out, everything I said is true I promise."

"Then answer me one thing. Do you love my brother?" Damon swallowed, his eyes watery. _Say something!_ my mind yelled at me, but in all I could do was open and close my mouth. Damon scoffed, shaking his head at himself, "that's all I need to hear."

My mind rushed to come up with a way to stop him from walking out the door, "Where are you going to go Damon?!"

"You can stay with me. Damon, I'm sorry. What I did here was completely irrational, I just need to explain what's going on." Stefan sighed, walking towards Damon.

"You're my brother, Stefan. It's me who's in the wrong here, I should never have made a move on Elena. I just didn't know." Damon sighed, his eyes meeting mine for a second, with disappointment, regret, sadness and - I felt a stab of pain go through me- even disgust in them.

I opened my mouth, waiting for anything to come out, but all that did was, "please let me explain."

"I've heard enough bull from you to last a lifetime Elena," Damon looked me up and down one more time before leaving.

My eyes turned to meet Stefan's, "you love him, don't you?" he sighed.

"I'm so sorry Stefan." I drew out a shaky breath. _Everything is falling apart. So this is it? The end of Stefan and I. _"When we first met I could never picture anyone more perfect, you were exactly what I needed. People don't change Stefan, feelings do. Even you said so, I'm stronger than when we first met and now..." I trailed off.

"You don't need me any more" Stefan smiled weakly. "It's okay. Deep down we both knew it. I'll talk to Damon, explain everything. He didn't mean what he said Elena, you know he wouldn't say something like that to you if he had his memory."

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Thank you Elena. We had a good run, right? Minus all the...Klaus." Stefan laughed genuinely.

"We did." I nodded.

"Well I better go find Damon, God knows where he sped off to." Stefan spoke, looking into the dark night air before leaving.

* * *

How could she? Elena. Why would she do this? lie to me. How could I be so stupid! "Urgh!" I shouted, ramming my fist into a near by tree, just for it to collapse. Why did I fall for it? In love with my brother of all people.

I paced up and down in a small spot of the forest I had found. God, every emotion was building up inside of me, making me feel like any second I'm going to snap. I know what I want, I want to rip into a young girls throat, maybe play some games with her first. Terrify her so when I'm draining each ounce of blood out of her neck she'll scream and fight until she becomes to weak. When I'm done I might send her back to her family, piece by piece and at the end of every week I'll kill another member of her family, make the other watch and keep them all locked in their house with the dead body parts. Each week I'll some back, and everyday they'll be wondering which one of them I'll pick next, to have their blood run through my veins, for those few minutes. Making me feel alive again.

"NO!" I screamed up to the pitch black sky. Why am I thinking these things? I felt tears coming to my eyes, and despite everything, I wished Elena was here. Her sweet, soothing voice as she helped me in the bathroom, even when I was a monster she would comfort me, she would understand.

I slid down a tree and rested my head in my hands. Elena doesn't even care. No matter how much I wish what she and I had was true, I can't change what I know is certain.

"Damon," my head snapped up, hearing my brother voice as he approached me.

"Stefan" I mumbled, my head turning as he sat down next to me.

"You need to pull yourself together and hear me out. Elena and I were in love -"

"Stefan I know my mistake, I don't need to hear it." I snapped, instantly regretting it.

"Yes you do need to hear it Damon so don't interrupt me. Elena and I met and we fell for each other instantly, her parents had died and I was at a point in my life when we were just what we both needed."

"But then she met you and everything changed, suddenly we were fighting over you, the two of you have a connection Elena and I never had. But you were in love with someone else, maybe if you had't been, things would had been different. Her name was Katherine. You and I, we hated each other for a very look time because of what Katherine did to us. I got over her but you...even after 150 years, still loved her."

"When you found out she had betrayed you, although you'd never admit it, you were heartbroken. Through that time Elena and you became closer and it didn't help that I did something to tear apart my relationship with her even more. The two of you became friends and over the months you became so close that with a single glance you could tell what the other was thinking. Something she and I never had."

"But then Katherine came back and she wrecked it all. I don't know if you know this but a vampire can flip a switch on their emotions and when she said what she said you still didn't turn it off...your emotions were all over the place causing you to do something to Elena that you regret very much. It really hurt her and she told you she would never forgive you."

"Despite that you became friends again, and you fell in love with her more everyday, I pretended I never noticed a thing though. I wished you hadn't but I know now that Elena and I were never right for each other."

"I left to save your life and to cut a very long story short you and Elena fought your feelings for a very long time but you can't fight the inevitable. She fell for you just as much as you fell for her and what I said back there was out of anger that Elena hadn't told me first that she's made her choice...and also, I was jealous that you get happiness and I'm still waiting for it. Elena and I spoke after you left and we know we're not right for each other any more. Elena loves you Damon, not me. You deserve your happy ending for once brother."

"Stefan..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say. How am I meant to reply to that?

"Go speak to her Damon" Stefan smiled supportively.

"Thank you. And Stefan...for whatever I did to make you hate me I am truly sorry. You're my brother and the hate you say I feel towards you, I really don't, even if I act like it." The moment was broken when Stefan's phone rang.

"Hello?" Stefan spoke. "That's great. Thank you Bonnie. Yeah tonight, great." He hung up.

"What is it?" Damon asked.

"Looks like you're getting you're memory back Damon."

* * *

**So Bonnie thinks she can get Damon's memory back. The next chapter will be the last and I may do an epilogue, but we'll see. I'd like to thank you all for the the reviews and would like to give you a big virtual hug. I really do love all of you, as weird as it sounds since we've never met before. I know we're near the end here but reviewing will still mean the world to me.**


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